Don't settle for less

I am an unlikely romantic, but a romantic nonetheless. For the last few years, my life has been less like a fairy tale and more like a bad sitcom, at least insofar as romance goes. Don't worry, this post is not a whine fest or an introspective on the ramifications of being the child of divorce. But I do find the subject matter at least slightly amusing because a friend of mine from college who recently read my blog said, "I like your style. It's very Sex and the City." This coming from a man. But Carrie Bradshaw never had a story like this:

Julie (*name changed) is my hair dresser. She also is the hair dresser for my mom, my sister in law, and my two step sisters. It's a family thing. Julie is 51 years old, never married, and a wonderful woman--and by far the best hair stylist I have ever had. This past spring and early summer, she had been doing some self improvement exercises, reading books like A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. In doing this she realized that she was settling when it came to her personal life and made the move to break it off with her then boyfriend. Around the same time a friend of hers had an opportunity to go on a free cruise to Italy and Greece in a luxury suite and offered to take Julie with him. She gladly agreed and embarked on said vacation with her [platonic] friend.

To back track a little, when she was about my age, or younger, Julie had spent a couple summers in Greece and had fallen in love with a man named Stavros (*name not changed because it is so awesomely Greek) but at the end of each trip, she returned to the States, and Stavros stayed in Greece. Now, more than 20 years later, she was docking in Greece again. She phoned Nikolas (*name changed because I don't remember his name), who had married her friend, though they were since divorced. Julie said, "Come meet me in Athens for the day." He said, "Better yet, I'll pick you up and bring you to town [where she had spent her summers] and everyone will come to the coffee shop and be so happy to see you." But before hanging up she did not fail to say, "And if Stavros is around, it'd be good to see him, too."

Nikolas had called everyone he knew and said that he had a surprise for them. Some agreed, but others needed more incentive. But when they heard who it was said, "I'll be right there." On the drive, he called Stavros from the car: "Hey Stavros! Come to the coffee shop. I have a surprise for you." " No no, I'm busy. I can't." "Hold on." and he handed the phone to Julie. Remember, more than 20 years. "Hello?" says Julie. "Julie??" He knew it was her just from her voice. "Julie, is that you? Hold on, I'll be there in 20 minutes." As it so happens he was recently divorced and told Julie he'd been in love with her for 20 years and they would never be apart again. She told him that she can't possibly move to Greece and he said, "No, I will move to Boston." And while they knew they wanted to spend their lives together, they weren't going to get married just for the sake of the green card. So he said, "I will go get a visa so no one can question our intentions." He went to the consolate (or embassy or wherever) and told his story. "Why didn't you marry her 20 years ago?" asked the official. "I know I know..." He then proceeded to obtain a 10 year working visa for the US! About a month ago Stavros actually moved, and I just found out a few days ago that they are engaged and we're keeping our fingers crossed that my mother gets to perform the wedding. Let me also not forget to mention that he is movie-star handsome.

It is a story like that and the story of a woman I met, widowed by the war before the age of 30, who found love again and is taking a chance with odds against her (in a shack in New Zealand with no running water), that keeps me a hopeless, although unlikely, romantic (not to be confused with a hopeless flirter according to urbandictionary.com). I think my romanticism also has something to do with my strong affinity for Hugh Grant movies. So if you, too, are a fan of love, but prefer to take a more activist stance on it, be sure to check out my friend Josh's new website: AllorNotAtAll.org. It's new, but get on board early and let's make this movement happen! Because why should we settle?